The chicken feet were ordered for me by friends. The dish looked yummy, actually. The feet were fried with a tasty sauce, but nothing could prepare me for the texture of the skin.

I took a bite,
but that was the end of that.
I just couldn’t do it.

words + photographs STEPHANIE

Just recently, our family moved from one island in Asia Pacific, where we were serving and learning language and culture, to a new island. In my mind, I thought, “This is still the same country, Stephanie. All the things that were starting to feel normal there would have to be the same here, right? It is not like I moved countries as we did a few years prior when we moved from America to here.”

Boy, was I wrong.

The new island is a new level of hot. Imagine walking around, shopping, and exercising in mid-August with no air conditioning in most places. I wake up early and go to bed early. The sun rises and sets at the same time every day, year-round, 6 a.m. to rise and 7 p.m. to set. Every day. Year-round.

My life on the new-to-me island is also a more fast-paced city life versus the small town feel I had grown used to. I have learned to shop for produce and meat early because it is fresher. No refrigeration at the market. Oh, the smells. The stench is, well, I don’t even have the words to explain the new sounds and smells. It is just something you may never understand until you have been to an underdeveloped, tropical country.

I constantly meet new people and cook from scratch. Many times, I have failed at making something I am very capable of making in America simply because of the overwhelming humidity and differences in kitchen appliances.

I’m reminded daily that I am a foreigner, a guest in this country. Whether it be my appearance, the way I talk, or my non-verbal communication, I am constantly living in “new.”

As I go about my daily tasks, I am often reminded I am not in Kansas anymore, Toto, as Dorothy would say in The Wizard of Oz.

“Expectations are everything when embarking on something new,” I was told many times. Yet, I didn’t think it was really true, or didn’t take it to heart, maybe. I thought I had low expectations, but I didn’t realize how high they actually were until they weren’t met.

I came here to my new island with the assumptions of “this can’t be that different” and “at least I know the language,” instead of with an attitude of a learner.

And I left God out.

I neglected to ask and seek Him as to what He would teach me through this new and different experience.

Of course, with any unmet expectations came bitterness, exhaustion, worry and stress. So here I was in a new place with all the new things, all the new smells, all the hot weather, and with an attitude.

How did I get here?
“God, why did you bring me to this place to be miserable and hot? “

Sound familiar, Friend?

Yeah, I could relate with the Israelites very much. At this point, they had forgotten all the miracles God had just performed to get them out of Egypt and slavery and were only focusing on the here-and-now, just like myself.

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Did God really know me like I thought He did?

The old, although it was tough, was familiar, and I was comfortable with that. This new life and city were different and tough, and it was a tough I wasn’t used to and didn’t expect. For months I found myself wondering if God really made the right call by moving us to this new location and ministry. Did God really know me like I thought He did? I mean, if He did, He would know this situation would be harder and more difficult than the last one.

God doesn’t promise that what He places in our path will be easy, but He does promise to be there every step of the way. Through this whole time of newness, I am still experiencing so many new news on the daily. Quietly, God is saying:

“I am here for the tough.”
“I am here in the midst of your decisions.”
“I am here; hand your cares over to me.”
“I am here to give you the strength to eat those chicken feet or other foods.”
“I am here to mold and shape you, my Daughter, if you would have me.”
“I am here; find rest in me.”
“I am here, even if you say, ‘No’ to that good thing.”
“I am here; are there areas of your life you are not handing over to me?”
“I am here; TRUST ME.”

Once I stopped and allowed myself to see I am here because God loves me, and He is always with me, I could notice all the good things of this new place. He gave me a love for the city He put me in. I have started beginning and ending the day with the same prayer:

“God, wrap me up in your arms.”

I just linger in His presence for a while, talking to Him about the day to come, the list of things I need to do, or worries for the next day.

I am going into a new year reminded of all God has brought me to and through. With HIM, I can do the hard things. I can do the new things.

Stephanie is married and the mom of three kids: Elijah, Jasmine and Naomi, whom she homeschools. The family has lived and served overseas for the last three years. All five family members consider it a blessing to live in such a beautiful country.

COVER Stephanie walking with new friends on her new island.

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more inspiration to #keepgrowing