I have chosen the path of rejection.

After all, I am an artist.

An artist places herself in the face of subjectivity and judgment. She can often embrace judgment with a feisty, revolutionary spirit because, as a creative, she is known for thinking outside the status quo. However, more often than not, judgment leaves the receiver wondering, “Am I good enough?” How do I compare? What is my score? Will I let someone down?

Will I measure up?

Judgment toys with timidity, with hurt. The measuring stick is infinite.

words + photographs by BROOKE SNEED

And the raw reality is, in the world’s standards, no one will ever measure up. This isn’t solely for artists. We will all be rejected at one time or another.

Have you been rejected?

Maybe your husband, your mom, your best friend left you for someone else. Maybe you weren’t asked on a second date. It could be that your dream house was bought by someone else. You didn’t make the team. You made it through the interview, but you didn’t get your dream job. Rejection comes in many forms; and because it usually involves the loss of something or someone, it often leaves one grieving.

I have a few stories of rejection in my short lifetime. And they all include a roller coaster ride of grief and joy.

But each story of rejection is also filled with God’s unwavering love and redemption of what was lost.

First Deep Rejection/Hurt

I held open the letter from a university in Texas and skipped lines until I got to the point:

“At this time, we cannot accept you into the dance program … .” It’s not that they actually said they were rejecting me, but of course acceptance is the opposite of rejection. And since I wasn’t accepted, I was indeed rejected.

I was aware I wasn’t the best dancer ever, but I believed I could grow and honor God with the talent and passion He had given me. So I set my sights on dancing in college because dance was what I enjoyed most and all other occupations seemed a bore to me. Dance was where I was judged as a creative but also usually accepted as a creative. To dance in college was my dream. And I began to grieve the loss of a dream, of all I thought I would do. I was confused about my purpose to honor God with this talent.

Muralist Career Rejection

The many “nos” I have received in response to my seeking work as a muralist leave me rejected. And the many “ghostings” I have accrued after sending a third follow-up, while not receiving the tiniest response — leave me rejected.

I thought my grit and determination would get me through to a future yes, to constant work, to a list of amazing clients waiting to hire me.

See, my job includes sending out cold emails asking potential clients if they would be interested in a mural. I have grown very unashamed in doing this. Immediately after sending an email, I often think, “Wow! That was written with perfect balance of professionalism, enthusiasm, and confidence. This person has to respond.” In fact, my haughty feelings continue. “I’m so good, maybe I should help others do this, too.“

And then I wait.

Maybe a week goes by, and I still haven’t heard from that potential client. So, as is typical, I send a follow-up email. Now, I believe my persistence will get them to respond.

And then I wait some more.

Another two weeks — or 10 — go by. I check my junk mail, again. But I still haven’t heard any response.

It turns out my perfect professionalism, enthusiasm, and confidence did not bring me any closer to hearing back from a potential client. And then, I can’t deny it. I have been officially-unofficially rejected.

I had done everything I was supposed to do in order to receive an answer of acceptance. Grit and persistence should be rewarded. Why didn’t they accept me? Was I truly not good enough after all?

Foreign Missionary Rejection

“We cannot at this time recommend their service … .”

My husband and I lost our dream of foreign mission-aviation work when we were gut wrenchingly rejected because he didn’t pass the evaluation. At that time, we were nearly fully-funded missionaries, who had trained in flight and maintenance (my husband, at least) and had a support system of financial and prayerful partners for more than four years. We had even already met our future teammates in Peru.

We went into a grueling two-week long aviation evaluation expecting to pass and be on track to go to our foreign mission field. Without meaning to sound arrogant, so much time, circumstances, and preparation had pointed to us passing. The future we thought was coming was built on prophecies, heart changes, passions, and God’s leading that had been years in the making.

Yet, it all concluded in this rejection letter.

We felt confused, angry, bitter, hopeless, alone, and we were grieving the loss of a very audacious dream.

Christ was also rejected

We cannot forget Christ was rejected first. He knew it would come (Luke 9:22). And He was rejected to the point of death. 1 Peter 2:4-6 says, “As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men … .”

Redemption

Rejected is not who we are. As much as I wanted to sulk in grief and proclaim rejection as my identity, the truth is, it’s not. As a child of God, I am chosen, accepted, loved, and cared for.

Grief is part of my story, but so is joy, knowing God was with me among every heartache. On the days when the grief of rejection was unbearable (and there were many days I was grieving the loss of my dreams), I was able to cling to Jesus. Even with tears in my eyes and uncertain thoughts, I was able to cling my my God, my Father, my Friend, who gave me bread not stones. I know I am accepted by Him. Rejection brought about a life, unexpected. But God has redeemed — and is redeeming — all of my experiences.

Footloose Redemption
(everybody cut footloose)

Thankfully, when I lost my dream of dancing in college, I chose to grieve with God. To dig into His Word, where I could find the depths of His love for me and cry out prayers I hadn’t known before. I found God would not despise my broken heart (Psalm 51).

God redeemed my dancing dream and made dance still possible four years later, when as an art education major, I presented my senior gallery as a dance showcase. I told the story of the Gospel through four dances and spoken word. It was truly a Footloose fulfillment for a small Baptist university; one that could only be done by the Lord.

That year, I was also asked to speak on my story of initial college programs and my being rejected to them, as well as how God led me to that university. It was then that I shared a verse I still hold as a calling over my life, ”The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me, your steadfast love, oh Lord, endures forever, do not forsake the work of your hands,” (Psalm 138:8).

Redemption in Mural Work

What finally resulted in a client saying, “Yes,” to my mural work was when I invited Jesus to join me in it. In desperation, I prayed, “Lord, is this actually what you will use me for?” The lesson being: It was not grit, perseverance, confidence, determination, or anything else I thought I so wonderfully possessed that led to a job. Acceptance happened when I finally surrendered to Jesus and invited Him into the work. That should have been easy enough to know beforehand, but He taught me a lot in an instant, and I hope to use that lesson to be more intentional in all areas of my life and work.

Redemption as Missionaries

Thankfully, I know now rejection is not the conclusion of our missionary story. It is a small part of one story among many God is authoring in my life. But the grief over not seeing our dreams and work come to fruition was tough. Again I chose God in the midst of grief. My husband and I were going through a discipleship-mentorship program at the time, where we learned more truths about God and ourselves than I can remember.

My husband and I have always known we would choose to live as missionaries at all times and wherever God placed us. We are now in a new mission field completely out of our previous expectations. We live in the Midwest, not in Central or South America. And we are experiencing a new thing God is doing in our lives.

Christ, Accepted by God

The passage I referenced above did not end with Christ’s rejection. “… But in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For it stands in Scripture: ‘Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone, chosen and precious, and whoever believes in Him will not be put to shame!’” (1 Peter 2:4-6).

We know the opposite of rejection is acceptance. And I embrace God’s full acceptance of me as His child when I continue reading 1 Peter 2:9-10, “But you are a CHOSEN (accepted) people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”

I am ACCEPTED and CHOSEN by God. The last phrase about receiving mercy is a reminder I never should have been accepted by God in the first place. I am not entitled to acceptance. It is only because of Christ that I am, and you are, all of the beautiful traits listed above.

Maybe you have a story like mine. You feel abandoned and alone. Your score wasn’t good enough. They own the dream house, and you’re still in a small-but-expensive rental. You don’t understand why you weren’t chosen for the job. And you are grieving the loss of the life you had expected. Whatever form of rejection you have experienced, take heart that God calls you His own — accepted and chosen.

The Path of Rejection

I have chosen the path of rejection. After all, I am a child of God. And His Son, Jesus, was also rejected. It is the world who tells us we are rejected, but God says we are accepted and chosen by Him. If we are following Jesus, we have chosen the path of rejection, but He has gone before us, and He will walk the path with us. He will exceed your expectations and bring redemption.

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Brooke Sneed and her husband, Phillip, have lived in their new mission field, Bentonville, Arkansas, since February 2024. Besides working as a muralist (Brooke) and a flight instructor (Phillip), they enjoy the mountain biking culture in NWA, as well as taking their pup, Nike, everywhere, especially to coffee shops.

COVER Brooke Sneed and her husband, Phillip.

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